Synopsis of A Kick in the Head

Written by Miranda

The episode starts of with Vonda singing "The Wildest Times of the World" with Ally half way under her kitchen sink at a pathetic attempt to fix whatever may be wrong with it. Water starts to shoot up out of the sink, she immediately gets up, turns the faucet off, and then there's a knock at the door. Ally goes to the door, opens it, and sees a young girl there. They stand and stare at each other for a few seconds, and Ally points to her watch saying it's a little late, but she'll take 6 boxes. The girl tells her she's not selling cookies, and asks if she's Allison McBeal. Ally of course says she is, the girl asks if she likes surprises. Ally says she hates them, and asks if she's about it get one. The girl says, "Sort of. Want it straight up, or would you like to sit?" Ally says to her - Hit me.

That's when the girl says, "I'm your daughter." Ally pauses for a few moments, and girl asks her, "did you hear me?" Ally thinks this is another one of her little fantasies, and tells the girl she's waiting for the little fantasy beat to be over. Ally says - you're still standing there, the girl tells her, because I'm still here, and I'm still your daughter. Ally starts to laugh, and tells her obviously that's impossible. The girl insists obviously it's not, and that 10 years ago she harvested some eggs, and stored them. By mistake at the facility they gave one of Ally's eggs to a man known as Robert Harrington, who was the girl's father, who passed away 6 months ago. The girl said she'd been forced to live with a wicked aunt since, ran away this morning, and has spent the past 2 months tracking Ally down. Then she says - Hi Mom.


Ally goes straight to the facility where she harvested her eggs 10 1/2 years ago, and the man behind the desk tells her obviously they're mortified. Ally fritters as she asks the man behind the desk, to just tell her if it's true, is the girl her genetic daughter. She is, and the man tells her how again how mortified they are. Ally can't comprehend how this can possibly happen. Apparently Ally donated eggs anonymously 10 1/2 years ago as part of a study, and was supposed to have notified if the eggs were used. She wasn't notified. The company records show she was contacted, Ally swears she wasn't and says she's a mother, and she has a 10-year-old girl out there in the waiting room with her eyes, and the company is mortified?!?!?!

Ally's in shock to say the least, while the man tells her these things can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. She starts rambling at light speed like she usually does wanting to know how this could be a blessing, being that they plopped a 10 year old girl in her lap, and this is supposed to be a blessing?!?!?! The man clears his throat sever times, trying to give Ally a clue. Her daughter (Maddie) is in the room, listening to everything that was just said. Ally wants to know how long she's been standing there. Maddie looks pretty crushes, and says - long enough.

It then goes to Richard Fish with the rest of the firm at the table at their morning meeting. Richard says it's a big day for him - his first murder trial. The whole room looks up at him. John can't say anything, he just whistles through his nose. Ally is stated to be missing because of family problems - her house, Jenny is missing because of family problems - not her house. John wants to see Richard in private for a second.

John's trying to be supportive of Richard, but can't help but be concerned with Richard and this trial. He explains to Richard if they lose this case, their client will go to prison for the rest of his life. Richard tells John that the client is thrilled with him (Richard). John continues to explain to Richard, that they cannot guarantee an acquittal, and of course the client is enormously pleased, Richard guaranteed an acquittal. When in actuality the case is extremely difficult. The are representing a man who kicked his wife in the head, because he thought her head was a soccer ball. And from what John is telling Richard, it is likely the man will go to prison forever. Richard tries to down play it by telling John winning isn't everything, while John says that people on trial for first degree murder usually tend to disagree with that philosophy. Still Richard swears he's going to win this one, he can feel it.

Elaine is telling the people from the office Ally is in her office with her 10-year-old daughter. Nelle wants to know if Billy is the father, but Ally hasn't said anything to anyone yet...

Ally's in her office with Maddie at this point, and telling her she's an extremely emotional person, and not to take anything she says personally. Maddie asks her if she looks like a dope, then says to Ally. "you're upset, fine. Sorry to burden you." Ally realizes she's pulling a guilt trip on her. Maddie tells Ally she's not trying to guilt trip her, and that she understands Ally's feelings. Ally asks how she can understand her feelings when Ally can't even understand her own feelings at this point. Out of the blue, someone walks in the door. It's Maddie's aunt, Bonnie Boone. Bonnie is naturally upset, and Maddie doesn't see the big deal, because she left her aunt a note. Bonnie introduces herself to Ally, and tells her that this is a REALLY big cry for attention. Maddie tells her aunt to stop psychoanalyzing her. Her aunt says she's talking, Maddie said so is she.

Bonnie apologizes to Ally, saying that Maddie wanted her aunt to help her track down Ally so she can see her one day, never thinking she would run off, leaving her aunt to worry herself sick with grief. Maddie asks her if she can be any more dramatic. Her aunt tells her they have a 1 o'clock flight. Ally stops everything, and tells Bonnie a 10-year-old genetic daughter doesn't just show up at her door, and then catch a 1 o'clock flight. Maddie reminds her that she'll be gone, and isn't that what she wants. Ally tells Maddie, "Maddie, I'm sure you're a very nice little girl, but you chose to insert yourself into my life, so like it or not, in some capacity, you're in it. And so are you (referring to Bonnie). So nobody is getting on any 1 o'clock flight." Maddie looked satisfied, Bonnie looked a little shocked.

John and Richard are in court for the trial of the man who thought his wife's head to be a soccer ball, and kicked it. The DA is questioning the first witness, a woman who happened to be sunbathing at the same beach where the "murder" took place. She said the waves were exceptionally big that day, and she was sunbathing near the wife of the man on trial. Her eye caught the other woman's eye, but the lady on trial made it known when her eye caught the other woman's eye it was not in a sexual way, because (the woman on the witness stand) is a conservative woman. Richard stands up and objects, claming the witness is dull. The judge over rules the objection. The DA asked what happened after she saw the woman sunbathing. She then states she saw the man who is on trial, walk toward his wife in an idle way, and then start to pick up the pace as he's moving toward her. He then planted his left foot firmly in the sand, and proceeded to kick his wife directly in the head with his right foot.

It then goes to Richard cross-examining the witness, by him asking her, "he just kicked her?" The woman replied back - right in the head. Richard asked her if it was as if she were a soccer ball. The woman answered, "exactly." Richard had no further questions.

John immediately gets up and asked the same witness what happened after Mr. Willis (the man on trial) realized hurt his wife. She answered that he became upset. John continued to ask if he appeared to become despondent, the witness wasn't sure, John asked again telling her she's an observant woman, did Mr. Willis appear to be despondent or not, she said yes, he did. John thanked the witness, turned around to leave the witness stand area, and almost ran right smack into Richard John's nose whistled again.

John and Richard are going into an empty room at the courthouse with Mr. Willis, and they're arguing (Richard and John). Richard's accusing John of trying to bleep out his cross, and in order to win the case, the jury has to respect Richard, and that won't happen if John keeps trying to do things over for him. Mr. Willis casually leans on John, and John says "hello" to get his attention so he'll stop leaning on him. John is arguing that they have to go into court and deal with intent. They have to go in there telling the jury that Mr. Willis didn't know he was kicking his wife, therefore being temporarily insane. And when he realized it was his wife, remorse is important. And as long as he's in progress with a sentence, to let him conclude that by stressing over again, he thinks they should plea it out. Mr. Willis (a.k.a. Kendall), says no, because Richard is sure they can win. Richard buts in asking how can they not win, when Kendall thought his wife was a soccer ball. John looks like he's thinking Richard and Kendall are nuts.

Ally is talking with Bonnie in her office. Bonnie's telling Ally how she was a lawyer for 2 years, then she quit. Ally asks her, "and now you sing?" Bonnie says yes, TV jingles that she was a blues singer for about 6 years, and could not make her rent. As a joke, one night on New Year's Eve, started to sing TV jingles, and suddenly got bookings. Ally asks about Bonnie's brother (Maddie's father). Bonnie says he's dead. Ally already knows this, Bonnie tells her that he was a great man, and that she is Maddie's only family unless you count genetics, then that would include Ally as well. Bonnie tells Ally that she just needs to tall them what to do, if she wants to get to know them, or if she wants them to go away, and Maddie realizes Ally has no obligation to her. Ally wants them to stay the night so she can visit with them. Bonnie says sure. Ally starts to tell Bonnie that Maddie had mentioned that she wanted to come and live with Ally. Bonnie proceeds to tell Ally that Maddie can be manipulative, and says, "kids."

Maddie barges into Ally's office, and says, "you are not going to believe this! There's a bar downstairs!" Bonnie doesn't quite grasp what she's getting at. Maddie tells her aunt there's a stage, and music, and she booked her aunt there for the night. Elaine pops in, and says she helped, and if she didn't want the booking, she'd (a little too willingly) be more than happy to take it. Bonnie's in disbelief. Maddie continues to tell her aunt that if does well, she can continue to get bookings in Boston, and they can come see Ally all the time. Bonnie breaks up the happy moment by asking Maddie if she told Ally she wanted to come live with her. .Maddie explains that she was only testing Ally because she wanted to stay the night to get to know her better. Elaine pops in again, anxious to cancel Bonnie's booking to she can fill in, Ally says Bonnie will keep the booking. Elaine sulks, and walks away.

Richard and John are in a room alone together, and John tells Richard that he must be candid when he tells him he suffers from stress. Richard tells him to focus on the case. John interrupts by telling him if he (Richard) introduces that picture (it's a picture of Kendall's wife with the black parts of a soccer ball painted over her face) to the courtroom, it will push his stress to the limits. Richard wants to introduce to the jury a theory that maybe if the shadows of the refection off the water hit her face, it would have made it look like a soccer ball. John won't allow it, he says it's tampering. Kendall rushes in, saying the judge just called them back into session, and says sometime when he looks at her, he still can't believe she's gone, and proceeds to sit on John, without even thinking about it. John gets his attention, and Kendall gets up off of him.

John explains to Kendall that they can't introduce the picture of his wife with the soccer ball painted on her face. Kendall asks why, not understanding. He says it's just a picture of his wife. John at this point is in disbelief, and asks Kendall to take a close look at the picture and tell him if he says anything out of the norm. Kendall studies it, and then says no. John and Richard are confused.

Kendall is on the stand, and Richard is asking him to explain what happened the day he kicked his wife. Kendall starts to tell the story of how Janet (his wife) was sunbathing, and Kendall saw what looked like a soccer ball. Since he used to play soccer, he decided to give the ball a kick. He said he wished he knew what possessed him to kick what appeared to be someone else's ball, but he just couldn't explain it.

The DA gets up, and starts to question him, asking if Kendall's a college professor, he says he is. Answering the DA's questions, he said classes were normal the day before going to the beach, he obeyed the traffic laws going to the beach, so right up until the moment he kicked his wife, he was behaving in a normal manner. The DA then asks if Kendall's wife had an affair 5 months prior to her death. Kendall said yes, she did, but it was behind them, and they were happy. We then find out that he slapped his wife once, he never hit her again, never meant to hurt her and swore it was a mistake.

John and Richard are in a room with Kendall now, and Kendall's apologizing for not telling them he swatted at her, and swore he would never ever do anything to hurt her. While he's talking, he's trying to hang his coat on John's head. John pulls off the coat, and it's pretty upset after being leaned on, sat on, and now trying to have a coat hung on him. Kendall apologizes again. John tells him it's as if he's not even there. Kendall comes out with the trust. Sometimes it's as if John isn't there. When he slapped him wife, he thought she was a mosquito, when he leaned n John earlier, and hung his coat on him now, he thought John was a coat rack. When he sat on him, he thought he was part of the chair, and when he kicked his wife, he really did think she was a soccer ball. He continues to tell them it's been going on for about a year. Sometimes he looks at people and he sees inanimate objects. John asks him if he's seen a psychiatrist for this, Kendall says yes. John tells him then he thinks it's time Kendall saw a neurologist.

Bonnie, Ally, Nelle, and Elaine are all in the bar. The bar is packed, and everyone's loving Bonnie She's an instant success. Elaine gets a hold of the microphone, and refuses to get out of the limelight. Bonnie finally gets the mic back, and Elaine settles back with the back up singers.

John approached Richard in his office late at night, and Richard apologizes for not being more prepared for the case. John ignores Richard, and tells him that Kendall has a degenerative tumor in the visual part of his brain that is most likely benign, and will most likely be okay, but to Kendall his wife REALLY did look like a soccer ball, John was a coat rack. Richard for once is speechless.

Maddie is playing cards with Victor, when Ally walks in the door. She asks how it's going, Victor's getting his butt kicked by Maddie. Maddie asks where Bonnie is, Ally tells her since she was such a smash, they decided to keep her around for the late show, and that she would be great in Boston. Maddie is disappointed; now they won't be able to have a slumber party now that Bonnie's working late. Ally decided to seize the moment, and tell Maddie now they have even more time to get to know each other.

It's the following morning at Ally's place, and Bonnie is just getting up. Apparently the second show was an even bigger success then the first one, and she had them freak dancing to Green Acres. That's when Ally drops the bomb. She wants Maddie to live with her. Bonnie isn't too happy about this, and wants to know why. So Ally tells her that a mother belongs home at night with her child. Bonnie insists she's home most nights, her schedule is just a little erratic right now, since she's trying to make it into show biz. But eventually she'll settle down into a schedule, and everything will be fine. Ally thinks she can provide a better home, and she wants Maddie.

John has a expert doctor on the stand asking him questions. The doctor says that Kendall has a rare disease that causes him to see certain people as specific inanimate objects, and testifies that his wife really did look like a soccer ball to him. This disease only affects about 1 in 1 Million people, due to where he tumor is located, it causes is eyes to see something on someone's face that isn't there. Which is why the doctor can't explain why Kendall saw a soccer ball.

Ally and Bonnie are still in the kitchen bickering over what's best for Maddie. Ally telling Bonnie it's not about what she wants, and Bonnie telling Ally the same. Bonnie is concerned because Maddie's father had recently died, and she needs stability. Ally argues that Bonnie staying out past midnight in a nightclub isn't exactly stability. Bonnie argues that she knows what kind of hours Ally puts in being a lawyer. Ally tells her that she wants to make a change in her life, is desperate to make a change in her life and can be home every night by 6. Bonnie tells her that Maddie doesn't even know her, and Ally doesn't exactly know Maddie too well either. Still, Ally feels a daughter belongs with her mother. Bonnie fires back that a genetic relationship doesn't make a parent. Ally calms down a bit, and says she didn't say that. Bonnie almost chocks back that yes, she did mean that.

Ally stops the argument before it goes any further, not wanting either of them to say something they might later regret. Ally insists though that because she isn't emotionally attached, might make her more objective. Bonnie fires back - and less informed. Bonnie tells her she has no idea. Ally gets that being genetically related doesn't make her a parent, but it does mean and count for something. Ally gives the example that adopted children seek out their birth parents because it means something, and that Maddie showed up on her door step for a reason, and she didn't ask Ally to take her.

Richard and John are arguing yet again. John doesn't want Richard to close, and Richard argues back that John's always said the lawyer betries the case closes. John understands that but stresses to him that they actually have a chance at winning here, and that this is a murder trial. John tells him it's not easy for him say although Richard thinks otherwise. John tells him it's not easy for him to say because he loves Richard. Before John can even finish what he was about the say, Richard pipes in, "You're gay?!?!?!" All John can do is stammer with the beginning of Poughkeepsie. Richard tells John he supports his right to choose, John blurts out, "I'm not gay! I'm trying to say I love you, you're my best friend, so this is difficult for me to say........You have no business being in a courtroom Richard. You're a fine office manager, your employees are devoted to you, but as a litigator, you are a joke, and it would be irresponsible of you to do the closing when a man's life is on the line, and here one is."

Richard calmly but angrily says, "You know, John, you're a funny little man." John fires back, let's not be turning this personal. Richard then replies, "You turned this personal, you called me a joke. I know you derive your esteem from being this magical little trial attorney, but maybe the idea that I could be good at it threatens you." John yells back - That is not what this is about. Richard yells back, "It is my client, my case, my trial, and I will give the closing." John picks up the blown up poster photo of Kendall's wife with the soccer ball on her head, and yell - You were going to introduce this! You're a lousy trial lawyer Richard!

Richard then tells John, "I need to prepare my closing now John, so why don't you scurry off into your hole."

John storms out of the room.

Maddie is sitting on a bed talking, and playing Monopoly with Victor, and tells him, it's not so much she wants to leave Bonnie, she wants to get her back (not revenge). Bonnie was like Maddie's best friend before her Dad died, they used to go shopping, sleepovers, it was always fun to be with Bonnie, and for Bonnie to be with her, and now it's different. Victor attempts to explain that it has to be different. A parent has to be a parent. There's going to be rules, and discipline, and she knows all this already. Victor rolls the dice, while Bonnie, and Ally peek in through the door. Maddie tells him that it's too much work, to hear her cry at night. Victor tells her that that's when most grown-ups do their crying - at night. Maddie wants Bonnie to have the life she wants, the life she planned. Maddie will be happier that way, and so will Bonnie. Victor tells Maddie to look at him, and asks her if she really wants to live with Ally. Maddie doesn't know, but she has a good feeling about her, and she also feels Ally really wants her. The continue to play Monopoly while Ally and Bonnie still look on through the crack in the door, their hearts breaking.

Ally and Bonnie are back in the kitchen, and Ally wants her and Bonnie to talk to Maddie. Bonnie doesn't want to, asking Ally if she really thinks this decision should be up to Maddie. Ally doesn't see what it could hurt. She tells Bonnie that Maddie came to see her for a reason, and that she's ready for this. She continues to tell Bonnie that she (Bonnie) is a single person with a lifestyle that makes it all but impossible. Bonnie swears it's not impossible and comes us with the flimsy excuse that Ally could be an ax murderer, when Ally tells her reminds her that she already had Ally checked out by a private investigator., and asked why she had her checked out by a P.I. if she wasn't prepared for the possibility of Ally parenting her (Maddie). Bonnie tells her she knew Maddie might want to come visit her. Ally tells Bonnie she'd make a great mother, but at this point, her career....and asks Bonnie to be honest. All Bonnie can do is sigh.

The DA is giving his final closing, saying the odds are one in a million Kendall actually mistook his wife's head to be a soccer ball. He strongly emphasizes the one in a million part, giving the explanation of Kendall's wife having an affair, and Kendall wanting to kill her, and uses the one in a million medical excuse that he actually thought his wife's head was a soccer ball. Claiming his defense is as desperate as he is guilty.

Richard gets up to do the closing, and says - when Janet Willis met his client, she wasn't interested in him, she was dating him just for kicks. John can only cover his face in shame. Richard continues with, "as she became interested, she asked herself all the usual questions - does he make a good living, does he want children, would he make a good father....what she neglected to ask herself was - will he confuse my head for a soccer ball? Because that could never happen, but it did. Kendall Willis developed a brain tumor which caused him to see things that weren't there. Unbelievable? Almost. Impossible, no." Richard continues his closing with reminding what the doctor had said about this happening on a rare occasion, and that sometimes the truth is stranger then fiction. He asks if any of them will ever see what Kendall saw, and answers his own question, no. That none of them will probably ever walk a mile in his cleats. He tells the jury it's impossible to fake a brain tumor.

Ally and Bonnie are in the room with Maddie, and Maddie feels weird having to make a choice. Ally simply tells her they aren't asking her to do that, that they want to know how she feels. Maddie ponders over it for a minute, and says - I feel like there's a hole. Bonnie asks her - a hole? Maddie replies - yeah, a hole. I never had a Mom, you know? When Daddy was alive, I always felt a hole I guess. I didn't know who you were (referring to Ally), something was missing, and when he died, the hole got bigger, and now....(now talking only to Bonnie), can I talk to Ally alone?" Bonnie says sure.

Maddie asks Ally is she's ready for this, really. Ally replies back - not only am I ready for this, but you just answered my question as to why I'm so ready for this, you know I've always felt a hole too Maddie, and always thought it would be filled up by a man, and yet I could never picture him. Well, maybe the man turned out to be you, maybe it's been you. This sounds crazy, but it's as if I always knew you were out there., it's as if a part of me just knew. And now it just makes so much sense that you're here. If you only knew how much money I've spent in therapists trying to figure out - "who is that guy?". They guy is a 10 year old girl, and she's home.

Maddie asks her if she'll call her "mom". Ally doesn't think she's quite earned that title yet, so why doesn't she call her Ally.

Vonda starts to sing - "The Wildest Times of the World"

Richard and John are back in court, and Richard can't understand why they have to hand the verdict to the judge, then back to the fore person, why can't the judge just read it. John sarcastically replies that this is a new thing they're trying out, and just to deal with it. When the verdict is handed back to the fore person, John tells Richard, this is where they'll find out the verdict. Richard kind of shove/hits John in the shoulder, John gets Richard back twice as hard, nearly knocking him over. The jury finds the defendant not guilty. John wants to give Kendall a piece of advice, telling him if one were to have a brain tumor which causes him to see people as inanimate objects, and if he should see a ball lying on the beach, it would probably be in his best interest not to run up, and kick the ball, especially if him and the ball are having marital difficulties. He then says - just a thought. And with that, walks away.

Richard's at the bar, and Hot Guy is singing a song something about - ain't that a kick in the head.

John finds Richard sitting at the bar, drinking a beer, and apologizes telling him he was wrong to have doubted him, and that he tried an exceptional case, and he honestly means that. John salutes him for making a dash for the end zone of maturity.

Maddie is putting Bonnie's scarf on for her, and Bonnie is telling her that this will be a trial basis. It's a tough goodbye, and they're both trying to be optimistic about it, but fighting off tears. Bonnie tells them she's adding a new song to her play list, and starts to play "Come on, get happy" from the Partridge family. She stops playing, and tells Maddie - if you think I'm agreeing to this because you think I don't want you. But Maddie knows that's not it. Bonnie says she'll have Maddie's clothes sent, and maybe she'll get an apartment in Boston. Bonnie and Ally hug goodbye, then Bonnie and Maddie hug goodbye, and as Bonnie leaves, mouths "I love you" to Maddie. Maddie says - now what to Ally, and Ally says - now I show you your room.

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