Quotes from Falling Up

Sister Alice: I imagine he'll be quite frisky. Probably picking out his little condom as we speak. Does he wear a condom, sweetheart, or are you on the pill? They have pills for men now. Did you know that, honey? Well, they've got little pills for everything. If he can't get firm they've got a little Viagra pill. Now they have other little tablets to make little spermy soldiers shoot blanks. Six weeks, he's probably got the whole artillery lined up.

Renée: My hand just kinda slid down a little.
Ally: What do you mean it slid down a little?
Renée: It slid...
Ally: It slid, oops, or it slid, I moved it?
Renée: I moved it.
Ally: Frontal or backel?
Renée: Backel.

Nelle: Is he prepared to stay home? Give up his job? Scrape pieces of vomit off the little burpy blanket? Aspirate the mucus out of its little plugged nose? Wipe its bottom clean from lime green poopy?
John: You certainly hit the big issues.

Dr. Tooth: Married?
Ally: No.
Dr. Tooth: Ever been?
Ally: No.
Dr. Tooth: Him?
Ally: Once.
Dr. Tooth: Children?
Ally: Son.
Dr. Tooth: The mother?
Ally: Detroit.

Ally: You are gonna kiss her, like a gentleman, and then you're gonna leave, like a gentleman, and then you're gonna call tomorrow, like a gentleman, and then you're gonna make dinner plans. Kiss her.
Jackson: I maintain, you got issues.

John: He's an objectionable little man who makes good points, damnit.

Elaine: Come on, Renée's a bigger tramp than me! (looks at Mark) Than I used to be.
Mark: Got it.

Elaine: I want us to do a number together.
Mark: Elaine, I don't sing.
Elaine: I'll teach you. If you love me you'll do a number with me. I want to be hot like them.

Ally: I just won't be able to take you leaving again.
Larry: Which works out well, because I don't plan to.

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