Quotes from Sex, Lies and Second Thoughts


Brian: Ally McBeal, will you... move in with me?

Renée: I can't tell you what to do. These kinds of decisions, there's only one person who can know the answer. We both know who that is.
Renée & Ally: A therapist.

Elaine: There's very very few decent guys out there, and in this day of sexually transmitted diseases, the odds of landing one become even tougher.
Ally: I don't follow.
Elaine: They're all wearing condoms. It's harder to trap them by getting pregnant.

Fish: With her? Oh, John, she looks like a hampster. I'd sooner pop a chubby for a tree frog.

Larry: The reason men go into relationships is for sex. They get married so they get to keep having it over and over again without wasting time on the dinner and flowers. And if it only lasts five minutes, why are you falling asleep at all? You should be lying awake wondering what the hell is wrong.

Larry: I have a slight problem with your lament on prioritizing sex as you come in here wafting of vanilla wearing a $2,000 outfit designed to punctuate every contour of your body looking very much like the women in the magazines except I don't have the luxury of turning the page. As for locating self-worth in physical appearance, I'm sure there's a mirror somewhere in your little Prada purse, and as much as you might hate the idea of being the object of a man's desires, what you truly loathe is the idea that one day you might not be. And the questions burning deep deep deep down to the lip gloss is... has that day already arrived?
Ally: You are the biggest ass I have ever met.
Larry: Perhaps this is where you kiss it goodbye.

Ally: Do you think Brian is a little... dull?
Renée: Honestly?
Ally: Of course.
Renée: He's so dull I've lost interest in the question.

Ally: I think that he is lovely, he's smart, he's kind, he's sweet. He's not the most boring person on earth, but certainly of the ones I've met.
Renée: Keep going.
Ally: I've always wanted to live a long life and with Brian I'm sure it will feel like that.
Renée: Keep going.
Ally: Maybe sex does last more than sixty seconds, but who would know?
Renée: Keep going.
Ally: That therapist was really cute.
Renée: Stop there.

Ally to Larry: I am sorry that I called you the biggest ass I've ever met. I'm sure that there is at least one bigger, I just can't remember.

Ally: So you say yes to a dinner and then a movie and then a weekend with his tiny penis that pops out like one of those chicken thermometers.

Ally to Brian: When I look ahead, I see myself getting tired of you... tired of us.

Ally in the bathroom: I don't know why I like to think in here. Maybe it's the right depository for most of my... thoughts.

Ally: When I think back to my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.


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